Monday

Texts.

"Couge rule Dawgs druel!"
1/31
4:35pm

"Fwd: Venoy means NO!"
1/31
4:35pm

"thinkin bout having a borgasmorg fer dinner."
1/31
4:50pm

"Pullups or Cruisers?"
1/31
4:53pm

"Bal Mar or Ballard Ave Pub?"
1/31
5:10pm

"Chubby cheeks or Button Nose?"
5:11pm

I post all text messages exactly as I receive them from my step dad.

Fade.



Hot pink not so hot.

Henri Cartier Bresson.



It all reminds me of 43rd.

Sometimes.



Need to remind myself.

Poisoning.



You'll never be as smart as Cocteau, as beautiful as Bardot, as talented as Voltaire, and you'll never date Charlemagne. And that's fine.

Thursday

Love.



afpp theft.

Texts.

I was showing some ladies texts from my dad last night when my Smartphone decided to be a Dumbphone and delete most of the texts he has sent me.

Oh well. There are still some real goodies.

"Didja seeda picture on da facebook computor?"
1/27
9:19am

"FWD: supwit Gee Budd E?"
1/24
8:46pm

"me at J Lube."
1/24
3:42pm

"Such a waste of my precious time!"
3:42pm

"But Opra dun got a half sister! Bet Gails jealous."
1/24
3:48pm

"Wha bout furple the duck?"
1/24
3:54pm


Wednesday

Tuesday

Texts.

"Plebes is at dentist dis morning."
1/11
8:17am

applebuggy jumpingjack yellowjacket beesting!"
1/11
10:08am

"Plebes needs wisdom teeth out!"
1/11
10:17am

"me got drum tonight!"
1/11
12:420am

"applebuggy jumpingjack!"
1/11
12.41pm

Today is already ripe with good texts to share.
I post all text messages exactly as I receive them from my step dad.

Monday

Allez.



I cannot stop listening to this.
First mobile post?

Texts.

"sup wit T dogg McBone"
12:00pm
1/10

"Plebes at dentist dis morning."
8:17am
1/10

"Yo whaddup?"
1/6
3:04pm

"supwit D Dogg HounDogg double downtown dogg!"
1/6
3:12pm

"where at cap hill late night party downtown daug?"
1/8
10:37am
(please note the new spelling of daug, and the time at which he felt it was appropriate to send me this message)

Gloves.


This might be a very ambitious comparison but don't these hand made gloves give you a teenytiny Medham Kirchhoff ss2011 vibe? Maybe just a little? Especially if they were cranberry/raspberry colored.

Friday

Vingt-cinq



Consider this your invitation to my birthday.

Wednesday

Mercredi.

I got a text today that put a smile on my face...

"OMG!, jimmylou steambarge has a friend with a store called Poggi Bonsi!"
1/5
11:46am

I've been in an otherwise totally rotten mood all day. I don't know why I've been feeling so left out lately. Probably just need a mood ring like this one...


stolen image

///////

Dear Pandora,

If someone searches for a station that's going to play "Nothing Compares 2 U" by Sinead O'Connor they probably don't want to listen to ads for ENGAGEMENT RING STORES. And then when that same person decides to find a station with Twin Sister your first suggestion is "Standing Outside a Broken Photobooth" by Jon Nolan!? Pretty sure that song was in the movie "Bed of Roses." Which was way too mature for me to watch on the flight from Seattle to Maui in 4th grade.

Back to Sinead...total babe.






Tuesday

pays de la loire.



I just had this memory pop in to my head of this guy who would sit downtown in front of a coffee shop with his dog. He always had a handful of pine cones and would throw them for the dog to fetch. The dog had very few teeth

Texts.

"where at id everyone?"
12/30
6:44pm

"YoYoYo, wassup?"
12/31
1:03pm

"On bus."
12/31
1:12pm

"Wassup in PartyTown?"
1:14pm

"Aint no one is responding."
1:31pm

"GET HANAS FRIENDS DRUNK OUT OF HERE!"
12/31
10:26pm

"Hanas friends loud n drunk!"
12/31
10:32pm

"DJ turn it up!"
1/1
9:52am

"id B Mac comin 2?"
1/1
12:18pm

"Ulrika is deleting people!"
1/1
7:23pm

"I know! I think she's going thru sum wierd shit or sompin."
1/1
7:33pm

"Yo, wassup in P town?"
1/1
11:42pm

"ferwhatfor?"
1/4
9:38am

The people referenced in these texts are Hana (my sister who is living at home during Christmas Break) and my very good friend Ulrika (who is my step dad's friend on facebook). The best part is that I was sitting next to Ulrika on my sofa as I was getting these texts.

My step dad usually calls me and gives me updates about my friends from what he reads on the internet. Like "Did you know that Rachel went to a birthday party last night?" or "Ulrika doesn't like it when drunk middle aged guys come in to her store." I totally love it.

And as usual, I post all text messages from my step dad EXACTLY as I receive them.

Monday

To resolve.

My mom told me today that 30% of people make New Years resolutions, and of that 30%...60% of people actually keep their resolutions.

I have no intention of making, or following through with a New Years Resolution but I like the idea of trying to make positive changes. I think I want to just make some attitude adjustments in the 2011. Mostly act like less of a baby and make more efforts to spend time with people. Maybe cry less? Definitely get the jealousy under control.

I just think it's kind of fucked that most people need a holiday to motivate themselves to lose 100 pounds, read a goddamn book, be nicer, or pay off debts. Most people are lazy. I'm no exception.



Joe Dassin was actually born in New York, and was raised mostly in the United States. Bet you didn't know that.