Heaven.

This is a real picture of a baby dolphin and his penguin friend. If you don't think this picture is adorable, you're effed.

Hey, asshole.

It's NORDSTROM not NORDSTROMS.
Idiot.

Charles.

I predict that hip people "liking" dog shows is going to take the place of hip people "liking" sporting events. And I put "liking" in quotations because seriously, you're not fooling anyone.

Butthead.

Hairs.

Fannie Schiavoni fall 2010.
To say I'm obsessed with this hair doesn't really capture what's actually going on. I want it. I need it. I've got-to got-to have it.

Atlanta.

Jeremy Scott has a season inspired by the real housewives?
Think about it?

Please, and thank you.

Must watch.

Ignore the stupid stills in the youtube video and just think about cowboy Dylan.
Don't you think if I were cool I would have seen this movie already?

Messages.

I have a sister and I was delighted to find out that my step dad texts her just as much he texts me, but the texts are totally different.

Halloween.

"OMG, I think Paranormal wad real."
10/25/10
10:07am

In response to Paranormal Activity, we watched it last night.
I post all text messages exactly as a I receive them from my step dad.

Printempts part deux.

I wonder what "the look for less" version of these shoes will be like.

"De temps en temps je me sens peu d'importance à mes amis. Un sentiment d'être oubliés. Je suis favori de personne. Et je pense, vous pouvez tous vous faire foutre. Je vous déteste. Et puis, je pense, ce doit être la dépression..."

Please?

Dear wonderful people of Cavern Collection,

Please come decorate my apartment. It's almost there, but we need just a little help. Thanks!

-Cait

p.s...I can definitely not afford to pay you. Awesome.


http://www.caverncollection.com/

Patch.

Yr blog sux.

I stop by the windows "all the best pets" on my way to work every day to look at the kitties. I could never have one of my own, but I like to think about it. Or about turning my work in to "that clothing store with the cats." But that would never go over.

Emails.

My step dad got a hold of my work email.

Hallelujah!

Cheap Thrills.

I might take this back in a month but...

Dear JCPenny,

You are no Target. I want nothing to do with your collaborations.

-C

Get it right.

Their
They're
There
Your
You're

Project.

Sortie.

Matches.

Texts.

"FWD: supwit deputy d down dogg?"
10/13/10
3:07pm

"go on facebook"
10/13/10
8:24am

"California knows how to party!"
10/11/10
10:47am

"Compton SouthCentral, or Watts?"
10/11/10
10:42am

"How bout a clown whats name is creepers the clown?"
10/11/10
10:36am

"sup D Mony?"
10/11/10
10:32am

"supwif Higgins today?"
10/10/10
9:35am

"what time yo party time?"
10/9/10
3:27pm

I posts all texts exactly as I receive them from my step dad.

Jacques Prevert.

Favorite poem.

Le cheval rouge

Dans les manèges du mensonge
Le cheval rouge de ton sourire
Tourne
Et je suis là debout planté
Avec le triste fouet de la réalité
Et je n’ai rien à dire
Ton sourire est aussi vrai
Que mes quatre vérités.


The red horse

In the carousels of the lie
The red horse of your smile
Turns
And I am standing frozen there
With the sad whip of reality
And I have nothing to say
Your smile is as true
As my four truths.

Yesterday.

It was unusually muggy in the northwest.

"muggy day, major tude."
9/27/2010
4:54PM

"major bus tude, dude."
9/27/2010
4:40pm

"supwif the tude."
9/27/2010
4:32pm

"serious pie, serious tude."
9/27/2010
4:30pm

No biggie.

I wonder if when Sasha and Natalia hang out they talk about the same shit I do with my friends. You know, stuff like IBS, Juggalos, feline AIDS and $2 bottles of wine. 

Yeah. It's probs totally the same. 

Shut your face.

Marc Resort 2011; René Magritte: The Son of Man, 1964

Texts.

"Need to vote today. Whassup?"
8/16/10
11:22am

"FWD: word up?"
8/17/10
4:19pm

"Yo wassup D Dogg?"
8/17/10
6:59

"wheres GBuddy Jones?"
8/19/10
10:09pm

"Hana left it wit Logan in Cali..."
8/19/10
10:16am

"missing."
8/19/10
10:32am

"wheres blab?"-step dad
response: "I don't know"-me
"just say something like plebes!"-step dad
8/19/10
11:45am

"wuh?"
8/19/10
2:47pm

"Word up today in suckatown?"
8/20/10
9:26am

"FWD: on bus."
8/20/10
4:11pm

"whereat Showdog P Jones?"
8/21/10
7:20pm

"Pogo Bonzi!"
8/21/10
7:38pm

*********"T Bone n Showdog P Jones are having a poop party at a pagoda!"
8/21/10
7:48pm

"Wheres Baby Bear Button Nose Budders?"
8/22/10
9:02am

"sup showdogg?"
8/22/10
6:07pm

PogoBonzi BingBong!"
8/22/10
6:08pm

Thats all for now.

j.l.g

I really hate my life right now.

Texts.

I have been getting some really great texts lately. Watch out.

Also, yesterday I google searched "1970 baby" and a link to the Ledgewood Baptist Church popped up. They have a photographic history of the Church and it's amazing.

How pissed off is that kid in the grey turtleneck?




Ima dress up as the bible for halloween.

Sleeping in.

So, here's the deal. I don't understand the difference between getting up and 7 and watching 3 hours of Golden Girls, and just getting up at 10. But I like to tell people "I get up early." So whatever.




Brown/Gold Honda Goldwing is by boyfriend's dream ride.

Blog.

If you're one of the 2 people who read this you'll probably like

twentytwentyballard.blogspot.com

Whatever.

Cavern Collection is makin' me feel all sorts of good.
http://www.caverncollection.com/
(I stole that image)

Jewls.

The vintage jewelry on etsy is rad, and cheap.

Bakelite ring.


Scarab Ring.


Sterling ilver tribal ring with Tiger's eye.


And my personal favorite, mens class ring, 1968.

Text.

"YoDogg whats da haps in Doggtowm Suckatown?"
8/11/10
2:10pm

He is really on a Suckatown kick right now. Eh...

Les baleines.

Mt step pal and I went whale watching last week and they told us this story about Luna the baby killer whale who was separated from his family. Luna lost his family near the Canadian border, but swam his way down the Puget Sound, near Elliot Bay. When he got there he just hung out for a while, and made pals with everyone. He was crazy social, and liked dogs. The story has a sad end, but I don't want to talk about it. Here's a rad video with Luna and a little dog friend.

Boo.

My step dad has been sending me some tiiiiiired shit the last few days.
I am tired of the "bounce dogg bounce" and the "party party party dawg."

Here's to hoping that I get some new material soon.

Yo Neville and Wainwright.

Previously on the fence.
Not that you care, but I'm on your team now.

Yo ACNE.

Gimme someothat!

Yo Miuccia.

I could never, but I love.
I'm late on this one too. I know.

Yo Pheobe.

I've been too busy to keep up with all of the resort that's going on. Whatever.
I love this.
I love Pheobe Philo.
And hey Caroline Brasch Nielsen, let's hang out sometime soon.

Chaud.

It's hot.
Gazpacho please.

Text.

Serious all star text. I don't know where he came up with this.

"klown Kar Mechanik on planet nebutron. BeepPoBopo Beep Beep Beep!"

I post all texts exactly as I receive them from my Step Dad.

ALL STAR TEXTS!

I've been getting so many texts that I can hardly keep up.
Since I can't possibly post them all here are my favorites. They really are some of the best ones I've ever received.

"watching Dances with Wolves"
7/5/2010
6:42pm

******"Bacardi Break in TV room."
7/4/2010
1:46pm

"Ice Cube, Ice T, Mr T, or Mr Coffee?"
7/3/2010
3:35pm

******"Snoop Dogg or Jacob the werewolf?"
7/2/2010
10:43am

******"Edward is a Vampire but Ice Cubes a pimp!"
7/2/2010
8:17am








******* indicates an especially good text. Top twenty of all time.

Texts.

"seen mommy n Bay B Bear?"
6/21/2010
11:14am

"U seen StepBear?"
6/21/2010
1:12PM

"whats the haps in Suckatown, population Schooley!"
6/21/2010
4:23pm

"going to movie, sucka!"
6/21/2010
6:39pm

"sucka?"
6/21/2010
9:22pm


"whats the haps, sailor?"
6/22/2010
7:40am

"France eliminated!"
6/22/2010
10:31am

"call ASAP"
6/22/2010
11:00am

"can't talk, text only."
6/22/2010
12:00pm

"FWD: U seen Lotso Bear?"
6/22/2010
12:21pm

"supwit sucka?"
6/23/2010
5:38am (!!!!!!!)

"OMG US WINS ON LAST SECOND SHOT!"
6/23/2010
9:24am

"STAY OUT OF TROUBLE!"
6/23/2010
9:25am

"Later Sucka!"
6/23/2010
11:58am

"Yo Sucka, wuts the haps fer the day in Suckatown?"
6/23/2010
5:52pm

"No!"
6/23/2010
6:01pm

"NY is fer Suckas!"
6/23/2010
6:11pm

"Suckas and Gangstas! Plus a few Doggs!"
6/23/2010
6:14pm

"FWD: supwitdisndat?"
6/24/2010
7:54am

"soon enough you will be back home safe and sound!"
6/24/2010
7:54am

"Seen any suckas?"
6/24/2010
7:57am

"Bow Wow Wow"
6/24/2010
7:58am

"There is a cool new club called BowWowBuggyBumpers in the Bowery!
6/24/2010
8:12am

Goth, gospel, southern, rock, disco.

This is cool.

Texts.

These are for real. For serious.

"Zebutron by Proxy."
6/16/10
10:35am

"Yo DJ, lets git this party started!"
6/16/10
10:34am

"Yo DJ sucka! What the haps at the Wood in da hood?"
6/16/10
10:33am

"alcofibus at drum class!"
6/15/10
6:57pm

"where at sucka p dawg?"
6/15/10
6:30pm

"supwit U n B bear?"
6/15/10
1:19pm

"Soccer is for Suckas!"
6/14/10
3:25pm

"Suckatown USA is where U live!"
6/14/10
3:18pm

"whats da haps in suckatown?"
6/14/10
3:14pm

"Bla Bla Bla..."
6/12/10
2:55pm
****This was sent to me DURING my graduation ceremony

"U still there sucka? Get soccer score!"
6/12/10
2:39pm
*****Also sent during my graduation ceremony

"How do we know you aint on CapHill?
6/12/10
1:34pm

"italian programincluded. isAmanda Knox supposed to be here?'
6/11/10
2:32pm

"people eating."
6/11/10
2:30pm

"sorry is im being rude but suckas got sn sttitude!"
6/11/10
8:23am

"wha the party haps las night sucka?"
6/11/10
8:13am

"New Yawk is for Suckas!"
6/10/10
1:52pm

"Graduation advice* Sucka is as Sucka does!"
6/10/10
1:16pm

"me on the sucka bus! Headin to suckatown! Where suckas is!"
6/10/10
1:04pm

"better call cause MommyMadd!"
6/9/10
10:49am

"Suckatown is open, population U!"
6/8/20
8:23pm

etc...

Yeah.

There have been more texts than I can begin to think about posting.
So, here is a picture of the oldest violin in the world.
Constructed in 1555 by Andrea Amati

Shoes.

I've been too busy to write in this thing.
This is what happens when I try to study earthquakes.
I look up pictures of Chloe Sev's line for Opening Ceremony, and die in my chair.
For your viewing pleasure...Pre Spring 2011:

Graduation.

My mom wants me to wear a purple dress for my graduation.
Gem tones are so 2007.

The last three days have really harshed my mellow.
But I got a phone call at my place of work that kind of cheered me up...

Me: "Hello? 20twenty."
Step dad: "Yo!"
Me: "Uh? Hello? Who is this?"
Step Dad: "It's me sucka!"
Me: "This is inappropriate. You can't call me here. This is work."
Step dad: "I AM GOING TO GO BUY SOME SHORTS THIS AFTERNOON BYE!"

end.

I like it when she says "you're done."

I wonder what direction they gave the woman in this commercial. Like if they said "imagine you're really mad because your tooth hurts."

Texts.

"supwit crackers?"
5/21/2010
12:34pm

"supwit disn dat?"
5/21/2010
10:57am

"ditto by proxy."
5/21/2010
9:24am

"FWD: where at?"
5/21/2010
7:59am

"fremont"
5/20/2010
6:34pm

"car"
5/20/2010
6:32pm

"supwit Bud E Budders?"
5/20/2010
11:32am

"ditto"
5/20/2010
9:43am

Overalls.

Style.com is on my side. Check out the slideshow here...


Some highlights:


Chloe


Charles Anastase

Secret.

The Illuminati are really 'having a moment' this year.

Phone.

My phone fell off the side of a boat this weekend. No texts for a while. I'm going to try and get him to send me emails. That will probably work out.

Also. Yesterday I went to my favorite bar and noticed that in the juke box they have this lovely cd. I would like a copy for myself please?



p.s.
THERE ARE 3 VOLUMES.
All available on amazon.
My birthday is in January.

Avant/Apres

"French geographer Antonio Snider-Pellegrini drew these maps in the late 19th century. They depict his interpretation of how the American and African continents may once have fit together before subsequently becoming separated..."

Texts.

"Yes!"
5/7/2010
11:33am

"Babies movie OMG!"
5/7/2010
11:20am

"where at."
5/6/2010
8:42pm

"where at!"
5/6/2010
7:59pm

"Well, u get to see Baby Budders soon!"
5/6/2010
2:54pm

"What R we going to do wit B Bear?"
5/6/2010
2"13pm

"Good job Budders!"
5/6/2010
2:10pm

"sittin waitin at DPD. SupwitU?"
5/6/2010
2:08pm

"FWD: sup wit budders?"
5/6/2010
2:00pm

"at DPD."
5/6/2010
1:58pm

"BabyBear is coming home!"
5/6/2010
1:38pm

All texts are copied e e e e e exactly as I receive them.

Email.

I get texts every day. But sometimes, when I'm lucky, I get emails.

"Sup wit ur Mommy/ phone?"

Japan.

"This exhibition brings together prints from the most renowned ukiyo-e artists of the 18th and 19th centuries—including Harunobu, Utamaro, Eishi and Hiroshige—along with Hokusai’s most beloved prints, Great Wave off Kanagawa and Red Fuji. These Japanese woodblock prints demonstrate an evocative play between delicate ink lines and rich blocks of color in portraits of beautiful women and kabuki actors, jewel-like landscapes of famous places, and more...this installation introduces the region to a remarkable collection of prints, all taken from early impressions and in excellent condition."

Don't be an idiot. Go see the prints at Seattle Asian Art Museum soon. Free on Thursday.
Check out more here.